Hacked By A Trumpster?

Hacked By A Trumpster?

hacked by a trumpster

I was hacked.  This election is real and dirty and straight out of a movie and I know it firsthand.  It happened to me.  Remember my last post about Donald Trump, Perverted Men, and Me?  One minute it was there and the next minute it was … gone.

Imagine my surprise when I attempted to log in to my blog’s dashboard today to do some updates and I was unable to access my account.  In addition to being surprised, I was also a little perplexed that when I went to my blog’s homepage, my last post about perverted men wasn’t there.  It had disappeared.

I immediately called my hosting company and jokingly said to them, “I bet Donald deleted my post because it was a negative post about him.”  The technician chuckled a little bit and then put me on hold to find out what was going on and why neither she nor I could access my account.  But something about her reaction left me unsettled.

While she had me on hold, I went over to my Sussex Circle Musing Facebook Page to click on the link that directly linked to the Trump blog entry.  I wanted to VOMIT when I clicked the link and it brought me to a blog post I wrote back in 2010 about a fun time my husband and I had when we attended a party at Mar-a-Lago – Trump’s house in Palm Beach.

Not only was my negative post removed by a hacker, but that same hacker took the time to redirect the link to a positive post about Trump.

Add two and two together and let me know what conclusion you reach.

Is the First Ammendment alive and well?  Is he going to appoint a special prosecutor to look into me and put me in jail along with Hillary?  Hey Donald – news flash!  My post really had NOTHING to do with YOU and EVERYTHING to do with perverted men.  But if the shoe fits…

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Donald Trump, Perverted Men, and Me

Donald Trump, Perverted Men, and Me

From my earliest recollection, I have always wanted to keep my body covered.  It was instinctual.  A little voice inside my head kept me in the modest zone.  It was revolting to me – even before I knew about sex – that a man might look at my body and objectify it.  The thought of a man looking at me in a sexual way made me want to vomit. It still does.

With the passing of time, I have had little blips of memories of certain times in my childhood.  But like the sun trying to peek out from behind the clouds, the memories are never fully exposed.  I think it’s a protective mechanism keeping me safe from the memories in the same way the clouds cover us from the sun.  Somehow, deep down, my brain knows that I don’t have a sunscreen powerful enough to protect me from the full impact of the rays.

perverted men

The blips of memories include a man asking me inappropriate questions that I can’t bring myself to type, that same man pinching my waist and telling me I needed to lose a few pounds, and when I was really young, that same man asking me to sit on his lap.  That’s when my mind goes blank.  And it is a slate that I want to keep uncolored.  There is just enough hue there to make me know to protect myself and my daughters from perverted men; to turn away, to not engage, to speak up and say enough is enough.  Jokes about women are not funny, and no man that I associate with would ever degrade a woman in my presence and live to tell about it.

The Access Hollywood video of Donald Trump has been like a hurricane to me, forcibly blowing the clouds to and fro, with rays coming and going.  Even though the tape is revolting on every level, it has actually been helpful to me because it is a verbal record of what perverted men think.  It’s a “Hallelujah!” moment.  Now there are words and a visual for my experience.

Poor Arianne Zucker in the purple dress had no idea that she was being burned alive by a bus full of cacklers seconds before their meeting, behaving like the men who clapped and cheered while watching Jodi Foster’s character get raped in The Accused.  The sun was fully exposed in that moment, yet it was never darker outside.

donald trump and perverted men

with my husband and daughters/2015

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How You Can Help Women In Need

How You Can Help Women In Need

help women in need

Friends!  As you know, my daughter Erica started a charity when she was sixteen years old that solicits, collects, and donates cosmetics to women in need.  To date, Cosmetics for a Cause has donated over $1.5M in products to organizations that exist for the purpose of helping women who live in safe houses, are survivors of sexual assault, are seeking employment, and who live in other distressed life circumstances.

Even though the organization receives donations from national cosmetics companies, it also accepts donations of unused makeup from generous women who reach out and are kind enough to ship their products.  You can help, too!

Do you have any unused makeup that you would like to donate?  In addition to makeup, Cosmetics for a Cause is always in need of cosmetics bags, too.  Head to their site to read more about how the organization came to fruition and be sure to read Erica’s blog.

Leave a comment or send an email to me and I will send you the shipping address. Now is a great time to send in your products, just in time to make a lot of women very happy this holiday season.


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What It’s Like To Be Fat–For Me

 A Guest Post By Erica Harreveld

(Disclosure:  The post “What It’s Like To Be Fat–For Me” was written by my daughter and originally appeared on the blog “Ummmerica:  My Thoughts About Stuff.”  It is posted here with permission.)

Hey y’all, it’s me, your fun-loving and carefree friend Erica. But wait…did you also know that your friend Erica is fat? This is the part of the post where you either say in your head “duh” or “omg no, you’re not fat.” I appreciate all the people who just said “duh” because those are the people that are actually being honest with me and themselves. It’s ok to think it, I’ve been fat for my entire life, it’s not a surprise to me. (I’ve actually only ever called myself “fat” out loud one time in my entire life.) It’s such a weighty (pun intended) word, and I hope that one day it holds less power over me. Anyway, I’ve always envisioned doing a post like this one day in the future after I’ve lost tons of weight, become a yoga instructor, and I’m a famous #fitstagramer. But let’s face it, that day is never going to happen. I’m writing this post to tell you what being fat has been like for me.
Alright, so let me take you back to when Erica was a fat little kid. Childhood is such a fragile time in a person’s life, and for a little girl, it’s even harder. But I was ok. I was never the type of girl to look at a magazine and think “wow, I want to be skinny like her,” or “she is so much prettier than me because she’s thin.” My mind never really operated that way. It sounds SUPER silly to say it, but I actually owe a lot of credit to Raven-Symone and her show That’s So Raven. Raven was so funny and cool…and she wasn’t a size 2! She looked like me (why representation is so important in the media!!), and to me, that meant the world. One of the main reasons I’ve probably never had an eating disorder is because of Raven and the images of other plus-sized women in the media.

what it is like to be fat

erica harreveld

So fast forward to middle school…puberty, boys, hormones! All the fun stuff in life! Everyone around me started losing their baby weight, getting boyfriends, and experimenting with different personality types. But there was a huge problem for me, I wasn’t losing any weight, in fact, I was getting bigger. My self-esteem was so fragile at this point. But again, I’m not the type of person to sit around and cry about it. I just told myself, alright that’s fine, I’ll just be the smart and funny friend. So that’s what I did, I was a straight A student, a top musician, and I was always making my friends laugh. At this stage in my life, I chose to see myself not as the lead in the movie, but as the sidekick who provides the comic relief and meets the diversity quota for the production company. And that’s how I’ve lived my life from then on, and to be 100% honest, it hasn’t really bothered me. Sure, there are moments of frustration and anger but I’ve never been completely devastated about my weight.
There have been so many times over the years when I say to myself, “that’s it, I’m losing weight, I’m going to exercise every day and eat so healthy, I’ll make Gwyneth Paltrow jealous. And I’ve done it and been successful before! I’ll start to see the effects of my efforts, I’ll start to lose weight and then a little switch in my brain goes off RED ALERT RED ALERT!!!! ERICA IS FAT ERICA CAN’T BE SKINNY!!!! Mentally, I just shut down and I stop exercising, stop eating super healthy. I’ve always cast myself as the sidekick and mentally I’ve never been ready to make that leap into the leading role. There’s a part of my mind that becomes petrified of attention. I don’t want anyone to say “hey, have you lost weight” or for any male to say “wow Erica is kind of pretty.” That is something that I become petrified of. Because I’ve never had that type of attention before and my mind just says, “stay in your comfort zone, you’re happy here.”
Another element of the story, which kind of runs parallel to my weight loss efforts, is my dilemma with doctors. Since puberty, I’ve been to so many doctor’s appointments about my weight issue. The first thing they do is ask you what you typically eat in a day. So I would tell the doctor and they would say “hmm it doesn’t make any sense why you weigh this much, let me check your thyroid.”  I would have my thyroid checked, everything would be fine, and then they would say, “no, nothing’s wrong with you,” AKA “it’s your fault, you’re just fat, you just need to exercise.” Then when I was 19, I went to the doctor here at Barnard because I had a cold that just wouldn’t go away. And I started to chit chat with the doctor about other issues that I had: acne, irregular period, and being overweight. That doctor thought I might have PCOS (polycystic ovarian syndrome), which is basically a hormone imbalance that causes your insulin to function improperly. It causes you to have acne that is untreatable by topical measures, an irregular period, unwanted hair growth (I actually don’t have this symptom thank goodness), and it makes it hard for you to lose weight and easy for you to gain it. So basically it’s a super fun combination!
It turns out that I did have PCOS, which was a godsend diagnosis for me. It made so much sense to me why all my friends growing up were so much skinnier than me, why I could literally eat the same thing every day and still gain weight no matter what, and why losing weight was so difficult for me. But here’s the rub, a diagnosis is not a magical gift, it doesn’t simply make you skinny. Recently I’ve been working slowly to lose weight because I don’t want that little trigger to go off in my head and stop all my progress. There are so many mental barriers that I need to get over, let alone the physical ones.
The reason that I’m posting this, and posting it now, is because I feel like I haven’t been living my life and that there are so many misconceptions about people who are overweight. While watching a movie with my friends, one of the characters complained about being overweight to which my friend said, “well, he should just lose weight.” But being overweight is so much more than that. You live your life so differently than other people. You are constantly aware of what others are thinking about you and you live your life afraid of being the star of the show. I guess the conclusion of this post is that I’m tired of living my life out of the spotlight. And I wanted to share the story of my experiences to show people that the issue of being overweight is not one-dimensional, there are so many facets and layers that so many people will never come to understand, but hopefully this makes you understand me a little bit better.

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DIY Dorm Room Headboard

DIY Dorm Room Headboard with Video

Make a DIY dorm room headboard so your baby’s pillows won’t fall off the bed!  Last year, we used a huge piece of cardboard to keep Erica’s pillows from falling.  However, this year we took a road trip before we moved Erica into college. We rented a huge SUV so that we would be able to go to Home Depot to get supplies to make her a headboard.  The final result didn’t turn out anything like I planned it in my head…it turned out better than I imagined!  I’m already sad that we will probably have to throw it away at the end of the year.  (There isn’t a way to store it. Boo hoo.)

diy dorm room headboard

easy to make dorm room headboard

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