I have had the strangest feeling all day today that I just can’t shake! What is it, you ask? I have this overwhelming feeling that I should start modeling again. HUH? Where did that come from? I hung up my shoes and put away my makeup thirteen years ago and I have absolutely NEVER looked back. (I even made our phone number unlisted so that I wouldn’t get calls anymore and so that no one could find me.) I haven’t missed it one bit.
Occasionally I have thought about it, but my thoughts have always been “I wonder what it would be like. Maybe one day…” I even mentioned something about it to Sharon back in January when I was in Houston. That was different, though. I never felt as strongly about it like I feel now. Not even once.
So where is this coming from?
I have been making a list in my mind of the positives and negatives of going back, and the negatives far outweigh the positives. In fact, I can’t even think of ONE positive. Maybe in the deep subconscious of my mind I have thought that I would one day model again. Maybe that deep subconscious thought has somehow worked its way to the conscious part of my brain and now I am consciously putting it to rest with absolutely NO subconscious remnants.
I hope so. I don’t even WANT to do it again. Which is why it has been such a strange day. Strange, strange, strange. I still can’t shake it…even when I think about all that starting up again would entail…head shots, lose 15 pounds (unless I take the plus-size route like my girls suggested!), not to mention having to make trip after trip to Miami with gas over $4 a gallon.
I need to go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!